A Review of 2024: The Year It Started to Make Sense

Here we go… another year, another promise to myself to write more on this blog. I saw a post somewhere that said, “All right ladies, time to buy our annual notebook that changes everything” and it made me laugh out loud; I am SO that person, the person who buys a new notebook and writes massive lists of goals like “drink more water” (been trying to do that since 1999), “work out” (vague), and, you guessed it, “post more on This Battered Suitcase”.

In fact, full confession: a few paragraphs of this post were actually written for my 2023 round-up, which – gulp – I never ended up posting. I look back at the archives of this blog in the mid-2010s and I was posting constantly, sometimes three or four times a week. And they were good, solid posts! And I actually enjoyed posting!

When I moved back to Winnipeg, I started to post less and less. I was working on other freelance projects and I was trying to set up a new life here. And then, very quickly after that, the pandemic happened, and I lost all of those freelance projects. While that should have motivated me to post even more here, it had the opposite effect; I was just so sad and so apathetic about everything in life, including this career that I had been building since I was 19.

And then I got pregnant, ended a relationship, started a new business, renovated my entire house, had a baby, raised said baby into a toddler as a single mom, and that’s where we stand today. You know, that old chestnut.

All to say… I sometimes tell myself that I have a lot of reasons why I haven’t posted much on this blog over the last few years. But of everything that’s happened, letting this blog survive on only a flickering heartbeat is one of my biggest regrets in life. I feel like I was poised for something really cool – a book, a podcast, a writing course – and I let it slip through my fingers.

With the big heydays of personal blogging behind us (but fingers crossed for a resurrection, because it seems people are craving long-form and personal content again), I sometimes lie in bed at night and curse myself for not writing more, not paying more attention to This Battered Suitcase, not realizing the potential I once had with it. I wrote a blog post last month called “Have I Completely and Utterly Fucked Up?” all about this, and the comments on that post made me tear up and also made me want to post as much as I can in the next year.

That is an extremely long and very discombobulated way of starting a review of 2024, I know. I feel like the exact same thing happened the last time I posted a yearly review: 2022: Oh Right, I Had a Baby. But I always feel the need to a) explain why I rarely post and then b) apologize for it, all while c) acknowledging that maybe I should just fucking do something about it.

Funnily enough, that’s my motto for 2025: just do it. Stop thinking about it, stop saying you’re going to do it, just do it. Give myself grace, but also give myself a kick in the pants. I want to write a blog post about that – famous last words, but maybe my motto will actually motivate me to make it happen – but that’s why I’m writing this post today: I thought about it, so I’m doing it. My little guy is lying next to me in bed having his nap, and while I’d usually be working on Road Trip Manitoba or some freelance work, I chose this.

OK. 618 words just to say why I’m writing a review of 2024. Google loves me! (It does not)

In other years, I’ve written reviews like 2021: The Worst… I Mean, the Best Year of My Life (a general summary) or ones featuring certain words that meant a lot to me that year or, way back in the day, month by month. For this one, I thought I’d divide it into certain topics, those pillars of my life that make me me: motherhood, writing/work, lifestyle, travel, and dating. Let’s just say some topics will be juicier than others, hah.

So, without further ado (as if you need any more ado than 600+ words), here is my review of 2024.

This Battered Suitcase 2024 Review

Travel

Travelling has been on the back-burner for me since early 2020, when COVID grounded all of us. I did not travel out of Manitoba at all from 2020 until 2024, with the exception of one quick babymoon to Toronto. I still call myself a travel writer, because local travel writing makes up the bulk of my career (and don’t @ me on how local travel isn’t travel, because it absolutely is).

I see many of my travel friends with kids going all over the world, and I do envy them, but it’s just not the right time in my life for that. There is the financial aspect, of course, but there’s also the fact that I am co-parenting, and my ex and I agree that we don’t want more than a few days/a week away from our son when he’s this young.

One day, I’m sure I’ll get back to international travelling on my own, or with a partner, or with my son, but I’m not too worried about it right now. That being said, I did have three days in Scottsdale with my dad and his wife in March 2024, which was my first time out of Canada since January 2020 (when I was in Arizona as well, seeing as they have a winter home there). All I wanted to do was sit by the pool and drink margaritas made with fresh limes. That was my only goal and my only plan, and I accomplished it.

I also had a lovely trip to Vancouver over a long weekend in early October. My brother and his girlfriend live there, as does my mom’s boyfriend (and my mom was in town, too). It was so nice to walk by the ocean, enjoy some good food with the people I love, and spend some time at museums and the film festival.

My biggest trip in 2024, however, was a press trip with Tourism Nova Scotia. I went to Halifax for five days, where I was tasked with exploring the historical side of the city (namely the Halifax Defence Complex). After living in Nova Scotia for four years of my life in my late teens/early 20s, it was a really beautiful and reflective trip (which I wrote about in the post “On Going Back to Halifax“).

All of that being said, and despite getting on a plane for three different trips this year, perhaps my favourite trip was to Winnipeg Beach, which is only an hour’s drive from Winnipeg. My mom rented a cabin and we spent a week there together; we spent loads of time at the beach, visited Hecla Island for pickerel cheeks and a hike, shopped and dined in Gimli, and enjoyed the beautiful cabin and yard with a few chilled Lillet Blancs. Sunshine wanted to spend hours in the cold green lake with his floaties on, and it was so fun and cute to see him swim.

Coming up in 2025, I have my biggest trip since I travelled around the Balkans in 2019: I’m going with my mom, her boyfriend, and my son to the island of Curacao! I am SO EXCITED. It will be the first time my son is on a plane, the first time he’ll see the ocean, the first time we’re travelling abroad together, and so on, and so on. We’re going to celebrate a milestone birthday for my mom, and we’ve already booked our flights, rented a private villa with a pool (which was surprisingly cheap, much cheaper than getting a hotel!), and are looking up lots of fun things to do in the week that we’re there.

I might also take a couple of trips to the US, as it’s relatively easy to get to many American destinations from Winnipeg. I’ll probably go back to my dad’s place in Scottsdale, but this time, I would really love to take my son. And I’m dreaming of a week-long trip to two states I’ve barely visited: Kentucky and Tennessee. There are SO many spots in both states I’ve wanted to visit for years, namely the Bourbon Trail, the Grand Ole Opry, the National Civil Rights Museum, Graceland, the Blues Hall of Fame Museum, the Stax Museum of American Soul Music, and the Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum, as well as many stops on the Civil Rights Trail (I visited quite a few stops in Mississippi in 2018 and would like to see more).

Other than that, I hope to do a lot more local travel; there’s still so much of Manitoba I haven’t seen and, seeing as I write about Manitoba so much, my research only uncovers more destinations to add to the list. I also hope to visit Toronto again (I haven’t been since my babymoon in 2021, and my mom lives there), Scottsdale again (where my dad and his wife have a home), and I’ll definitely visit the Winnipeg Folk Festival in Birds Hill Park for its 50th year.

Motherhood

Motherhood feels like such a serious word. And for me, being a mom is actually very un-serious, as in, I am having so, so, so much fun.

I fucking love being a mom. I fucking love my son. And 2024 was the year that being a mom started to feel less overwhelming and stressful and a lot more lighthearted and easy. There are a few reasons for this:

1. My son is a bit older now, at 2.5 years, and his vocabulary is incredible. It’s so much easier now that we can tell each other what we want or need, not to mention how fun it is to chat and joke and tell each other stories. He also helps me with small tasks around the house, which is super fun and cute. And I stopped breastfeeding right before his second birthday, so that’s no longer a toll on my body.
2. My son’s dad and I worked out a co-parenting plan with lawyers in summer/autumn of 2023, which means we’re much more relaxed as parents and can actually work as a team. This has been huge for both of us, and I’m so glad my son will never know that the first year was quite a struggle as we navigated our co-parenting relationship.
3. My son’s dad and I now have shared custody, which means my son spends time at his dad’s house every week (more on this below).
4. I understand now that I was always meant to be a single mom to one child, even though I once dreamed of having a partner and two kids. It’s the perfect scenario for me, and I absolutely love my life (more on that below, too).

All I have ever known is to be a single mom. I actually think this helped me in many ways, because I had to be independent from day one. I never knew what it was like to have someone else there with all the nightly wake-ups, or bring me a meal or a glass of water while I was breastfeeding, or buy groceries or shovel snow or put gas in the car or walk the dog or clean the house or take my son to the doctor or pay the bills or do laundry or… well, you get the point. I did it all completely on my own, all while having full custody of a newborn, all while still working.

So when I say I find being a mom really easy now, does it make a lot more sense?

Now, for three days out of eight, my son is at his dad’s house. He also spends the odd day at daycare, mostly because I want him to interact with other kids his age and have experiences I simply can’t give him at home on our own (plus he loves going).

Do I miss my son when I’m not with him? So much it hurts. It’s been about a year since he first started having overnights at his dad’s and I still cry every single night before I go to bed, wishing I could hug him. The last thing I do at night before turning off the lights is scroll through videos and photos of him, laughing and crying and feeling such an overwhelming feeling of, “Holy shit, he’s my son? This beautiful, amazing little boy is my son?”

That being said, I also know that his dad loves him very much and that they have a wonderful relationship, so it makes me happy knowing that they’re together. I think about how devasted and scared I was a couple of years ago, and how fraught the relationship was between my son’s dad and I, and the fact that we can now work together as a team and raise this brilliant, creative, loving little boy together is amazing.

And while it definitely had its difficulties, I know that not many co-parents have this. I also know that this is the absolute best thing for my son, and that he’s a lucky little boy to have two parents who love him so much and truly want the best for him, even if that means setting aside our egos. My love for my son far exceeds any other emotion I may have, whether that’s anger or bitterness or sadness or regret.

I do feel a lot of guilt that I enjoy my time on my own, but I also know two things can be true: I can miss my son and wish I was with him all the time and I can enjoy having the time to work, see friends, relax, go to the gym, and so on.

But when we’re together, just Sunshine, Dottie, and me? We have the best time. There is so much love in our household, and I am raising him to be a sweet and sensitive boy. I have framed photos of us all over the house, and every day he walks around picking them up, saying, “Awwww! Mommy, look at our family!” He regularly hugs and kisses Dottie, who is the kindest, most gentle girl with him. We spend most of our time together cuddling, whether we’re talking, reading books, Facetiming someone, or watching TV, but there’s also a lot of craft time and play time, too. In other words, it’s so much fun.

As I said, I love being a mom, and I can’t wait to see what adventures unfold for us as a family in 2025.

Writing/Work

I often tell the (very true) story of how I had my most lucrative month as a freelancer/blogger in February 2020, and by the summer I was earning cents, not dollars. No joke, I made more in February 2020 than I do now in… many, many months. And then, of course, it all crashed down, as numerous people in the travel industry experienced around that time. Post-pandemic, though, I’m here and I’m healthy, as are all of my loved ones, and that is the most important thing.

By 2022, about to give birth, I had launched Road Trip Manitoba with my dear friends Pete and Dalene Heck. After giving birth in the spring, I kept working. I didn’t qualify for maternity leave in Canada because I’m self-employed and earn passive income. If you work or earn money while you’re on unemployment in Canada, there are financial reductions and penalties. Because I was earning passive income on both This Battered Suitcase and Road Trip Manitoba through ads and affiliates, I was worried I would end up owing the government.

That meant I was working when I was 10 days postpartum, my son sleeping beside me or on my chest as I typed. I think I’ve blocked out how hard a lot of those first few months were as a working, stay-at-home mom with 100% custody of a newborn because it is all a sleep-deprived blur at this point. To this day, most of my work is done late at night (after my son has gone to bed) or when he’s at his dad’s, but there’s no consistency to my work schedule; it’s more like, “I have time? Let’s work!”

I owe so much to Pete and Dalene, who hired me to freelance for their site, Road Trip Alberta. They also connected me with an outdoor adventure company here in Canada, and now I write all of their social media content. I also owe a lot to Breanne and Jillian of Travel Manitoba for multiple opportunities; I write the occasional article for Travel Manitoba and I find it so much fun.

In 2025, I’d love to bring This Battered Suitcase back to life, and my dream would be at least one post a week. My ultimate goal has always been to be completely self-sufficient, earning a living solely from my own websites; I experienced that pre-pandemic, but I’d love to experience it again. My problem is that I spend SO MUCH TIME on every single post – think weeks of research and writing and editing, even on personal ones like this – and only post articles that are 3,000 to 6,000+ words, so I would love to try my hand at a few shorter posts, too.

My ideal scenario is to earn passive income from This Battered Suitcase and Road Trip Manitoba, write the occasional article for Travel Manitoba (because I love this province so much), and then have space to work on something else (a book? a writing retreat?). I finally have a book idea in mind that I don’t hate, so that’s exciting.

I also know that my main priority now and forever is my son, and spending time with him goes above all else. Am I earning a lot of money? Nope, not at all, but we’re happy and healthy, and we have food on the table and a roof over our heads, which is a massive privilege. I’d rather not make a lot of money but spend these years home with him before he goes to school full-time (right now, he only goes to daycare once or twice a week, tops).

I did spend quite a bit of time researching the possibility of starting a Substack or Patreon this year, but it didn’t seem like a smart option for me. If I feel stretched to find time to write on This Battered Suitcase as it is, why start yet another platform that I’ll inevitably stress about? If I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that enough people would want paid subscriptions, that would be one thing… but it’s a big risk, and I feel weird asking people to subscribe to my writing. I’d rather post everything here for free and earn through ads and affiliates.

My biggest conundrum out of 2024 – other than when to find time to post on the blog – is what to post on the blog. I talked about it a lot in a recent blog post and I still haven’t quite found the answer. Single motherhood? My failed attempts at dating? My growing collection of kaftans? I really don’t know, but I’m trying to give myself grace and time to figure it out.

And one of the weirdest things to happen in the past year? I developed a huge lack of confidence when it comes to posting anything on social media. I used to post every day on Instagram and Facebook, and now I’m lucky if I post once a month. Again, it stems from that whole, “What the heck should I even write about anymore?” vibe, because I get it: someone who followed me ten years ago because I was travelling to a new country every week probably doesn’t care about seeing photos of my son and I (especially since I don’t even show his face online).

I know this shouldn’t knock my confidence, but I lost thousands of followers on social media when I announced my pregnancy, and I feel like I still haven’t found my footing. I can’t tell you how many social media drafts I’ve made, even just a simple story on Instagram, that I never end up posting. That being said, I remind myself that I’d rather have a smaller following that actually cares about my content versus a huge following that’s quite fickle.

But hey, if anyone has any suggestions or recommendations (or is looking for a freelance writer!), I’m all ears!

Dating and Relationships

Not going to lie, I was most excited to write this section, hah. If you have read this blog for a while, you know that I LOVE writing about relationships and I don’t really shy away from spilling the beans about my love life (or lack thereof).

After my relationship with my son’s dad officially ended – at 10 weeks pregnant – I knew I wanted to wait until my son was at least one before dating. I just couldn’t comprehend feeling ready to date anyone, and I was right; as my son turned one, we had never even spent a night apart from each other, and I had never left him with a babysitter for an evening. But as he grew older, I grew more confident as well, and I ended up going on a handful of dates in 2023 and 2024. I also talked on the phone to a lot of potential dates; if meeting on a dating app, I always ask to talk on the phone first before meeting in person so that we don’t waste our time going on a date if we’re not compatible.

Here is what I learned:

1. I thought that being a single mom (and one who is 40) would mean my dating pool would be considerably smaller. This is not true, at least in my case. I don’t know if it’s because Winnipeg is a very family-oriented city and many guys my age either have kids or are open to kids, but having a child did not dampen my prospects whatsoever.
2. Most guys are totally cool with a woman having kids, and are happy to chat about them. I gravitated toward dating single dads because I felt as though they “got it” a bit more… they understood if a date had to be cancelled at the last minute, or they were able to chat and laugh and empathize about parenthood. I went on a couple of dates with guys who weren’t dads and I didn’t feel as comfortable talking about my son with them, nor did I feel our schedules/lifestyles aligned.
3. Most people (including me) need a lot of therapy.

I only went on a handful of dates over 2023 and 2024, but the theme of the guys I dated was definitely “I’m not truly ready to date.” In other words, a lot of them were still hung up on their exes, whether they were still in love with their ex or had some serious hate against their ex, both of which are huge turnoffs. A few of my interactions ended up feeling more like therapy sessions than dates, not to mention it’s really annoying to go out with a guy a few times and then find out he got back together with his ex anyway, even though he ranted the entire time about how much she messed him up (FYI, they’ve since broken up again and I hear his new relationship is just as dramatic).

For real, over the past couple of years, I went on dates with or talked on the phone with guys who still lived with their exes (red flag), called their exes crazy (red flag), were hundreds of thousands of dollars deep in a court battle against their ex and spent an entire date talking about how often they call the cops on each other (bright, burning red flag), or who told me all of his friends thought his ex was incredibly toxic and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about her and mused whether or not they’d get back together one day (dude… why are you on a date with me?!).

So remember when I said the dating pool was still there? Yes, sure, but that’s the thing about my current dating pool, me included: we all have baggage. Let’s face it, you can’t get to 40 years old without a little bit of baggage, and that’s totally fine… as long as you’ve done the work and you’ve hopefully gone to therapy and you aren’t using someone new as a distraction because one day all of said baggage will bubble to the surface and you realize that you really shouldn’t have dragged someone else into all of it, ya know?

Am I an angel? No. I am certainly not an expert at dating and I’m sure I made my own mistakes over the past few years (*cough* lifetime *cough*). But I do know that I’ve spent considerable time in therapy, read tons of books, done tons of reflecting, and tried my hardest to be emotionally available when putting myself out there. I can take accountability for my past actions in relationships and I know how I want to do better and be better in any future partnerships, and I’m looking for the same in a person.

Thankfully, at the start of 2025, I feel much better about my dating life… which is because I have decided not to actively date anymore, hah. I’m just not that interested, nor do I have the time! I have so many other fun and exciting things in my life – I mean, there are new episodes of Pop Culture Jeopardy! every week now, guys – not to mention dating has only ever left me feeling pretty shitty. At 40 years old, I now recognize that I am my best self when I’m single and my worst self when I’m in a relationship. Therefore, ergo, and heretowith, I realized that I am happily single for perhaps the first time in my life. I feel great.

All of that being said, if a funny, NDP-voting, vinyl-collecting, mid-40s single dad with tattoos and nice hands and a penchant for bourbon came along, I’m not saying no to a date.

Lifestyle

I could have also named this section “Everything else”, but lifestyle just sounds fancier.

As I said in the title, 2024 was the year that things finally began to make sense for me. And it was also the year that I realized that I really like every aspect of my life, or at least like where it is headed. Don’t get me wrong – I have always loved my life, and have always been so grateful for the privilege I’ve experienced. But there were many years where I loved some aspects of my life – travelling, let’s say, or the work opportunities I was getting – but not the others, especially my interpersonal relationships.

For many, many years of my life, I’ve felt a lot of loneliness. I don’t remember feeling lonely while I was travelling, even if I was travelling solo, but I definitely remember being very, very lonely when living in Osaka and London, and again when I first moved back to Winnipeg. I don’t feel that as much anymore, not only because I’m a mom and almost always have a little buddy around, but also because I’ve made a lot of peace within myself. I’ve always liked spending time on my own, but there have been times in my life when it was too much time. Now, it feels like the perfect balance between the people in my life and my time on my own, and I’m happy.

In the past year, I’ve had so many wonderful times with friends and family: getting to see drag icons like Trinity the Tuck, Venus, and Shea Couleé with an amazing group of women; finally seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert; cozy evenings in with Nicole and the dogs; long walks and talks with Sarah; too many fun dinners with my dad to count; good wine and great conversation with my mom; play dates with my sister and her kids; and so on, and so on. I have so many incredible people in my life and I am so thankful for them all. A special shout-out to Nicole for taking Dottie on so many walks this past year, too.

2024 was also the year I started doing things for myself again. Reading and working out were two loves I started to get back into after a couple of years of not feeling like I really had time to do either, and I’m excited to ramp both of those activities up in 2025. I love cooking healthy meals, and it’s nice to feel that I have more time to do that for myself, too.

Other than that, I’m looking forward to finally (finally) getting more of my house organized, which includes selling the remaining baby stuff I have, organizing all of my craft supplies so that I actually use them again, and donating as much as I can. Despite the stress that a huge renovation brought me in 2021/22, I’m also thinking of renovating again, adding an office space to the front of my house and then turning my current office into a library/playroom/craft room. And I can’t wait to devote tons of time to my favourite hobby this summer, gardening.

Although this isn’t the life I used to imagine for myself, it’s such an amazing one. My weeks are filled with pizza and movies with my son, drinks with friends, writing late into the night, long walks with Dots, cooking while listening to soul music as Sunshine draws a picture for me at the dining room table… I really don’t think I could ask for a better life.

Oh yeah! And I turned 40 in 2024! More on that in its own post, hah.

Conclusion

In conclusion, 2024 was the year that things really started to make sense for me. I had a lot of realizations:

1. I love being a single mom
2. I don’t want to date
3. I want to revive This Battered Suitcase

For 2025, I have a lot of lofty goals – I always do – but my main goal is to continue on the path I’m already on, the one where I’m slowly but surely shaping the best life I could possibly have.

I used to have a very different vision of where my life would be. Most of the time I pictured that I’d keep travelling forever, often not even sure if I’d have kids. Other times I pictured a traditional family, a husband and two kids, probably living abroad. Never in my life did I picture being a single mom living in my hometown again.

But that’s the thing about life: it shifts and changes in so many ways – some imperceptible, some crashing in like a tidal wave – and in the end, I believe that every step was leading me right here. No matter how I slice it, my life had to play out exactly this way to lead me to my son. That’s helped me a lot over the years as I’ve struggled with regrets or wondered if I made the right decisions. It all led me to him: the ups and downs and in-betweens. It was all meant to be.

What’s my dream vision for my life now? In a few years’ time, I’d like to have finally published a book. I’d like to feel happy with my writing and work, and make more financially. I’d like to be travelling a few times a year, maybe one or two international trips but a lot of local and domestic trips, too. I want to keep doing the things I love, crafting and gardening and reading and cooking and spending as much time outdoors with Dottie as I can.

And for my son… for my son, I want joy. I want him to continue to be adventurous and curious, loving and sweet. I want him to love books and flowers and dogs and singing just as much as he does now, or more, perhaps. I want him to spend his childhood swimming and dancing and building snowmen and running on the beach. I want him to laugh, hard, every single day. I want him to build forts and watch his favourite movies again and again. I want him to know he is so loved by so many people and that we will support him in every way: in what he wants to do, in what he wants to wear, in who he wants to love.

And 2024 was the year I could finally see all of that for our lives, know that it is very much a likelihood. I spent so much of 2020, 2021, 2022, and 2023 lost, confused, hurt, angry, and sad. It was so nice to feel the opposite.

Here’s to an incredible 2025. I feel very good about the year ahead – 25 is my favourite number! – and I’m wishing you a happy and healthy new year, too. Thank you for reading, thank you for being here.