Dating and Relationships

Over the past few years I’ve become increasingly more interested in relationships and why they do (or don’t) work. Along the way I’ve read a lot about dealing with those who show narcissistic tendencies and emotionally abusive behaviour, and then discovered the best way to deal with such people whenever we have to interact with them: grey rocking. So what is grey rocking, and how can it help you deal with the toxic people in your life?

It doesn’t matter if you were together for 30 years, five years, or even a few months, let’s face it: breakups are terrible. In fact, a tough breakup is often cited as one of the most stressful things you’ll ever go through in life. And as someone who has suffered her fair share of difficult breakups – my last serious relationship ended when my then-partner dumped me while I was pregnant with his child – I can tell you that there are few things in the world that are as energy-draining, as mind-numbing, or as hard to get through. What I’d love to do right now is give you a big hug and tell you it’s going to be OK. Barring that, here are a few things you can do to help yourself through a difficult breakup.

I was in the dating world for about twenty years before I met my boyfriend, Jon. With those twenty years came a lot of experience, both for the better and for the worse. I’ve been ghosted after three months of dating, I’ve dealt with intermittent reinforcement, and I’ve been in my fair share of rocky relationships. But the most common dating experience I’ve had? Love bombing. I only recently realized exactly what love bombing is, so I thought I’d share the warning signs and how to avoid it. Because – trust me – love bombing never ends well.

It’s officially been one year since I’ve left Manitoba. I know I’m not alone in saying that I miss travelling; I miss trying new food, staying in hotels, walking around new cities…

The last time I saw you, you were driving away from me, the taillights glowing in the dawn. The sun was just barely above the horizon; there was a still and quiet in that tiny prairie town, the trees bowing slightly in the wind. I stood at the window to watch you drive away, and I blew you a kiss.

We met in the heat of summer in the heart of the country. I instantly liked your glasses, your goofy laugh, the way we were both too nervous to eat any of the food we’d ordered. I talked too much – I always do when I’m nervous, especially on first dates – and an hour in I stopped myself, apologised for waffling.

“Don’t apologise,” you leaned in close. “I’m utterly enthralled by you, if I’m honest.”

I hadn’t had a first date that good in a long, long while. We both didn’t want the night to end; you came back to my house, where we drank beer on the porch and listened to records, the twinkly lights I’d hung up in the backyard illuminating all that was good. Our first kiss happened when we were listening to Sam Cooke, my favourite singer of all time, and life – for that one tiny moment – seemed perfect and real.

Let’s face it – not all holiday romances are meant to be long-term. Those damn holiday goggles can affect us all. Here are a few of my travel romance hits and misses… and what I’ve learned along the way.