The other night, I cooked a big bowl of pasta, poured a glass of wine, and put on Woody Allen’s To Rome With Love. Around me are multiple boxes in various stages of disarray, as I’m unpacking everything I packed last spring to reorganize it all and figure out what I’m taking to London. There are souvenirs from past travels scattered everywhere, a painting from Lithuania, masks from Japan, a really, really weird puppet from Nicaragua that I must have purchased while I was half-delirious with heat and humidity. I’ve been around the world and I’ve done a lot of amazing things. I have an incredible year ahead of me, one with a new city to call my home, with lots of adventures, and with lots of friend and family time.
Then why the hell do I feel so sad??
Sad isn’t really the word for it – I feel low, I have no energy, I can’t sleep. I don’t have the motivation to organize, to see friends, to write. And last night at 2am I totally cried at the end of Revenge of the Nerds.
Something’s up.
It could be the fact that it’s January, or that it’s freezing cold outside. It could be because I have an unbelievable amount of things to do in the next few weeks before hopefully moving to London. Or it could be because I just finished an incredible adventure, one which was basically a massive mind-blowing high for a solid eight months and now I have the post-vacation blues. (It’s probably a combination of all of these things, but for the sake of this post, let’s just stick with the last point.)
The post-vacation blues, or post-holiday blues as my soon-to-be countrymen would say, are very real. Also called post-trip depression, it is the sort of ailment that will often elicit very little sympathy from other people. “Oh boo-boo,” they might say. “You just got back from an a-maz-ing holiday. Poor you.” But I implore you to find a traveller who (as long as he or she had a good time) doesn’t feel a little bit bummed, if not a lot bummed, upon returning home. It doesn’t matter if it was a week holiday to the Bahamas or a two-year round-the-world stint, post-trip depression can hit, and can hit hard.
There are never going to be any cure-all, guaranteed tips that will help get over the post-travel blues, but here are a few things I’ve done in the past (and should be doing right this very moment):
1. “Don’t be sad that it’s over, smile because it happened.” Yuck. I’m pretty sure I had that on a fridge magnet in 1998. Although this ridiculously trite saying makes me cringe, I have to admit that the sentiment is totally true. Sure, I can lament that I’d rather be in Colombia right now, and that I had the best time of my life and now that time is over, but that would be a waste of my focus. Instead, I should look back on those times, be thankful that I experienced them, and reflect on why exactly they were the best of my life. Was it because I was doing new things every day, meeting new people, learning and laughing and living? Well, that leads me to my next point.
2. Get out there. Although the thought of staying home and being a hermit and wearing my new flannel shirt from Canadian Superstore for a week straight is beyond tempting (seriously, it’s so comfortable), I know that doing that will only bring me down even more. I also know that, just because I’m in Canada, it doesn’t mean that I can’t go out and do exactly the things I loved the most about being in South America; I can still learn, I can still laugh, I can still make new friends and do things I’ve never done before. Get out and explore, be a tourist in your hometown. Talk to people. Go to the museum. Try a new restaurant.
3. Organize your memories, whatever they may be. Edit photos and videos, make a scrapbook, write in a blog or a journal, or even just share your stories with friends. I find I can watch videos I took during my past travels and still howl with laughter, or look at photos from places I’ve been and still have to pinch myself to believe I was really there. It reminds you of all the good times, and smiling really does make you feel better.
4. Recreate your holiday at home. You know, minus the cockroaches and the man with B.O. who fell asleep on your shoulder for the entire bus ride through Northern Chile. Try to cook the food you enjoyed, listen to the country’s music on YouTube, join a language group, watch movies from that part of the world. If you really loved a place, pay it back by appreciating its culture even when you’ve long returned to your native country.
5. Talk to the people who were there with you. Even if you were a solo traveller, odds are you met a few people along the way. I’ve met dozens of friends throughout my years on the road, and I absolutely love reminiscing about our time together in foreign lands. I Skyped with my friend Mark a few nights ago for over two hours, and we talked for no more than ten minutes about our current lives. The rest of it was all about the hilarious things that happened in Argentina and Uruguay. It felt so good to share those things with someone who had actually been there with me, and who understood my feelings of travel withdrawal.
6. Start planning the next holiday. I know it will be a while before I do another huge adventure like the ones I did in 2006, 2011, or 2012. That’s not going to stop me from planning them anyway, thinking of travelling the Silk Road, volunteering in Uganda, or of visiting Antarctica. Even more realistic, I’m planning the shorter trips I’ll take this year: seeing my sister in Israel, visiting friends in Holland, and attending TBEX in Ireland. I’m already drafting up a plan on how to save money, and already buying guidebooks. Even if it’s just a weekend at the cottage, start planning your next little adventure and how you can make it the best it can be.
***
At the end of the day, I have to remind myself that it’s totally natural to feel blue sometimes, especially after coming down off a fantastic holiday (another sad fact, I also cried when hearing this song on the radio recently. What do those lyrics even mean??). I’m constantly talking to my friends and family about it all, and I’m so lucky to have a strong network of people in my life. Yesterday I went out for lunch with my dad to a South American restaurant; I ordered a Uruguayan chivito sandwich and a Quilmes beer, and we laughed over stories I told him about Argentina. There was a large photograph of the Obelisco de Buenos Aires hanging on the wall, and I excitedly told him about the time Mark and I drunkenly ran across the huge boulevards just south of it, in search of steak and (more) wine at midnight. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
25 comments
Glad to know I’m not the only one who becomes a hermit after a long trip! Every summer I come home I seem to spend the first few days (or week) hiding at home, even though all I’ve been wanting to do is see the friends, family, and places I’ve been missing.
Jill – I’m glad you relate. When I returned from my trip around Asia in 2011 I spent a solid month sitting on my couch playing video games and eating nachos. I vowed I wouldn’t do that again this time around!
Are you sure you had that on a fridge magnet in ’98? You look way too young to be putting magnets on fridges back then 😉
Anyhow, great tips, here’s to hoping I don’t have to apply them anytime soon!
I hope you feel “better” soon!
I guess most people who’ve travelled even a bit can relate to that post!
The only time I didn’t feel down&blue after coming back from a trip was this summer when I came back from Italy.
Other than this time, I always felt sad to come back home, eventhough I love Paris. The worst time was probably when I came back from Japan. But I don’t turn into a hermit, I go out immediatly! I’m too scared of the statingalldayinbedeatingcrap stage, so I try to avoid it!
It sucks soooo bad, but for me if I start planning another trip, even if it’s a year in advance, I feel a million times better. London is going to be awesome!!! Focus on that girl!
Nick – Ha ha, thank you!
Antastesia – Thank you! I am definitely guilty of staying in bed all day, even though I love coming home.
Andi – So very true! I have very little time to relax as I have so much to do before London…I should appreciate these days of staying in!
as one trip comes to an end… it gives us a bit of downtime (on the couch eating nachos or not) to save and plan for the next one! it ain’t easy, but no one ever said it would be.
Kerri – Absolutely. Currently sitting on the couch and looking up volunteer programs in Africa. It’s not easy, but it sure is fun.
I love reading your travel adventures! I havent travelled half as much as you but I also feel the same way when I come back home. I am trying to save as much money as I can to travel more but this is not always possible, Having another trip planned always gets me through my days though. Even if its just a weekend getaway, you still have something exciting to look forward too 🙂
Not to keep talking about myself in these comments (your posts are just so relate-able!) but the post-travel blues are just the worst. I got them really bad after studying in France for a year. I found making a massive scrapbook helped a lot (although after seeing how much work it was I won’t be doing that again, so won’t work for the future…) and as you suggested, planning your next trip is always a good thing to do! Hope you start feeling more motivated soon (your shirt from Superstore sounds amazing though!) 🙂
Martha – I agree, planning a new trip always makes me feel a lot better. I hope you have something exciting on the horizon!
Wondering – I want people to talk about themselves in the comments! I’m so glad that people can relate. I love the idea of scrapbooks, too, but they do take so much time. And yes, the shirt is the best!
Ran across this when researching how long the “post vacation blues” last. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, and we have a 12 year old daughter and 8 year old son. We had never taken a family vacation before (I know how sad that sounds.) We drove from where we live (Indiana) to Orlando for a couple of days (took in Magic Kingdom) and then spent a couple of days on Daytona Beach. We enjoyed it so much, and I even enjoyed the long drive (which still shocks me.) I find that looking at photos or videos of our trip makes me even more depressed because I’m longing to be back there, spending time with my family.
Since it was our first-ever family trip, my mind is making it seem like it’s going to be forever before we can take another trip, so that depresses me even more. Sad to say this (for possible revoking of my “man card”), but I shed a few tears for a few days after we returned. I had to get right back to my sales job just a couple of days after we returned. It’s starting to lesson, but even as I type this, I don’t even want to leave the house.
I sure hope this goes away. I feel like we were in this magical fantasy world for a week and now I’m back in my mundane life in Indiana. Ugh.
Wes
*lessen, not lesson.
Ran across this when researching how long the “post vacation blues” last. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, and we have a 12 year old daughter and 8 year old son. We had never taken a family vacation before (I know how sad that sounds.) We drove from where we live (Indiana) to Orlando for a couple of days (took in Magic Kingdom) and then spent a couple of days on Daytona Beach. We enjoyed it so much, and I even enjoyed the long drive (which still shocks me.) I find that looking at photos or videos of our trip makes me even more depressed because I’m longing to be back there, spending time with my family.
Since it was our first-ever family trip, my mind is making it seem like it’s going to be forever before we can take another trip, so that depresses me even more. Sad to say this (for possible revoking of my “man card”), but I shed a few tears for a few days after we returned. I had to get right back to my sales job just a couple of days after we returned. It’s starting to lesson, but even as I type this, I don’t even want to leave the house.
I sure hope this goes away. I feel like we were in this magical fantasy world for a week and now I’m back in my mundane life in Indiana. Ugh.
Wes
Wes, thank you for sharing your story with me. It can be really tough to return home, whether it’s from a long journey abroad or a shorter holiday with family.
There’s good news and bad news about your situation. Let’s start with the bad news: yes, it sucks. And it’s going to suck for a while. Perhaps you should put the photos and videos away for a bit, and not take them out again until you feel that they won’t make you sad. One day you will look at them and smile, remembering all of those amazing times you had together.
The good news is that you had a wonderful time, and now perhaps you won’t have to wait as long for another trip. You have the taste for it now, and as a family perhaps you can budget differently so that you can take another vacation together sooner than later. I’m assuming you all had a good time, so I’m sure that everyone will be onboard for this!
I want to ask you, though: WHY did you have such a good time? You said that you were depressed because you’re “longing to be back there, spending time with [your] family.” I want to focus on the last part of that sentence – I think that maybe you had such a great time because you could spend lots of relaxed, fun time with each other without the pressures of work or school. I know that when I travel, part of the fun is that I am often spending quality time with the people I love. Try to recreate that time together at home, then, even if it’s just for an afternoon a week. Cut yourself off from home just as you would if you were on vacation: no TV, no phones, etc. Go out to a park or even just a new restaurant, or, since you liked the long drive, drive a few hours away to visit a place you haven’t seen before. Hopefully your kids will be happy with this – I’m sure they will see the sense of adventure in it all!
Anyway, I hope that some of this helps. I’m sorry that you are feeling this way, but it will get better, I promise.
I appreciated everything that you wrote in this post, even though I only just found your blog now. I studied at university overseas in England for 6 months this year (2013) and 6 months after coming back I still feel like I’m going through the motions. The worst thing is that me and most of my friends have just turned 20, yet none of them have gone to another continent (I live in Australia) and lived/traveled by themselves. So the only people that really empathised with me when I was experiencing post-travel blues were my friends from all around the world that I had lived/traveled constantly for those 6 months. I know the feeling that you get when people tell you off for complaining about being back home, but it only makes me feel more connected with people half way around the world then with people I’ve been friends with for 6 years! Now, I’m counting on keeping up with your blog and hopefully will be inspired in the planning of my future travels 🙂
Thank you so much for your comment, Alisha, and for sharing your story. I agree that sometimes the best people to talk to after a trip are indeed those you’ve travelled with – they simply understand what you’re going through!
Alisha! I only just found this blog and just read your comment! I too am from Australia and can also relate. The worst PTD I have had was when I came back from Japan. I must say that it takes at least the amount of time you spent on your trip to start to feel a little bit better and normally 2-3 times as long as your trip was to get over it completely. However – my best advice to everyone is that PTD is there for a reason and you should use it to your advantage like planning your next trip etc. This blog post really is great and every point should be taken into consideration but know this, even though you feel horrible right now, it does get better… The reason you feel so down is because the trip may have just finished but thats a good thing because it means you had a great time. Personally, I get PTD really bad but I’ve also had it quite a few times now that I know how to handle it and the way I do that is to remind myself that I WILL go back and see whatever country/place I am missing. I mentioned above that I get the worst PTD after I came back from Japan – and I just went ahead and booked a flight back there 2 days after I had gotten back for 10 months later. For some people, this might not be practical, but I have just gotten back from that second trip and it was fantastic. No regrets whatsoever, and I would have no problems with booking ANOTHER flight back there – it makes me feel better about the PTD and I also get to enjoy the experience of the country I most want to be in in the near future. Do what makes you happy and don’t live with PTD – if you enjoyed your trip so much then do as much of them as you can!
I just read what you posted Ben and I’ve written a comment myself asking for some advice, coz I am so lost right now… I returned to Melbourne from the USA on the 8th June and jumped back into work on the 9th (which I think was a bad idea) and since the start of this week I have been VERY low, so the fact that it may take the same amount of time as what the trip was or 2-3 times longer makes me feel like I am NOT losing my mind or myself and that this adjustment period is normal for a lot of people (it was my first trip away.)
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[…] Brenna recommends organizing photos from your trip. This gives you a method for processing your trip emotionally and helps organize and make sense out of all those thoughts running through your mind. […]
Hey there! I just came across your gorgeous blog doing some research on post travel blues…which I think I have mixed with a badly timed nasty virus! I just came back from my first overseas trip 2 weeks ago and made the mistake of going back to work the next day and trying to throw myself back into life too soon (I thought that was the right thing to do) and now 2 weeks after the trip I am sitting here and occasionally zoning out re-evaluating everything that happened and how I fit in and how my life is and it’s pretty scary. I’m a very bubbly person usually AND very comfortable with how my life is, and I uprooted everything for a VERY quickly planned trip and the trip itself was only 10 days BUT 10 days of madness, and I was so anxious and stressed before I left but can say that the trip was great and VERY fast. I’ve cried 3 times in the last week (I feel like crying now, but it doesn’t come out)… so I suppose I’m asking am I losing my mind? Is it normal to be so zoned out you can’t function? I’m trying to keep busy enough that I can still rest but do my day to day jobs etc so yeah…any more advice for a first time traveller whose @ rock bottom? x P.S; your photos from your Argentina trip are lovely 🙂
[…] this way, especially amongst other travellers. This is nothing novel, of course; people talk about post-holiday depression all the time, and I fervently believe it to exist. Since leaving Brazil at the end of 2012, the end […]
I spent a week with my son in London in April and a month later I’m still depressed it’s over. We had such as great time. To make matters worse, my son is 12 years old and I know sooner than later he will drift further apart from me as friends and other things take priority over spending time with dad. I guess that is what hurts. I know I will never have that time back again and wish I could turn back the clock. I guess we all feel that at some point. I guess I have to take to heart that we had a great time and memories last forever. As parents I guess we all go through the inevitable realization that time is precious with our children.