Two Years in London… and an announcement

by Brenna Holeman

London 28

Closest stop: Westminster

London is a city that gets a bad reputation from time to time. It’s crowded. It’s expensive. It rains a lot. I get it – and sometimes I feel it so strongly, this weight of the city.

London 10

Closest stop: Shoreditch High Street 

London 3

Closest stop: London Bridge

But most of the time, nearly all of the time? I love it. It’s a city that speaks to me, that excites me, that motivates me. In London I’ve found a fulfilling career, a lovely flat, and a great group of friends; in London I’ve found a home. Over the past few months, after going through a bit of a period of stress, I have made a conscious effort to enjoy every single day in London, and to fill my time here with as many museums, cafés, parks, shows, and outings with friends as possible. I’ve been very open about my love for London, writing a post about why it deserves all of that love and even why I felt strongly about settling here permanently.

And then something happened: my master’s program finished.

London 22

Closest stop: Wandsworth Town

London 18

Closest stop: Shoreditch High Street 

London 24

Closest stop: Hoxton 

For those of you who don’t know, for the past two years I have been working toward a master’s degree in Creative (Non-Fiction) Writing at a university in the heart of London. It was a full-time degree, meaning I was (and still am) living here on a student visa. As a Canadian over 30 years of age with no other citizenship, I have very few options to live in London legally, as I’m not eligible for a working holiday visa or heritage visa. A student visa is one way to live here, as is being sponsored by an employer. I could also get married to someone with a British or EU passport.

Well, my student visa is coming to an end in January, I’m a freelancer, and as for the marriage option… no. Not happening any time soon.

London 21

Closest stop: Shoreditch High Street

London 27

Closest stop: Temple

I started to panic. I didn’t feel ready to leave this city, not at all. As mentioned, I have a wonderful life here. Not only that, I didn’t feel like I had fully explored the city as much as I wanted to. Despite checking out loads of cafés, taking tours, attending the theatre, dancing my mornings away at raves, and frequenting a lot of galleries, I have always felt that I was barely scratching the surface of London. I want to do more, to see more. This doesn’t even cover how terrible I started to feel about leaving behind all of the amazing friends I’ve made while here: Isabel, Claire, Kasha, Kathrine, David, Tom, Beth, Victoria, Steve, Pete, Antonia, Macca, Matt, Richard, Neil, Tav, Patricia, Helen… the list goes on and on. I started walking obsessively around London, trying to see as much of it as I possibly could, taking hundreds and hundreds of photos. Because what if I’m forced to leave? What would I do? I didn’t want to mention these worries on the blog too much, mostly because I thought that writing them would make them all come true. Every day that passed felt like a countdown to something horrible.

London 20

Closest stop: Shoreditch High Street

London 7

Closest stop: Notting Hill Gate

A new plan started to develop. I would travel around Europe for a few months next year before moving to Mexico. Or Thailand. Or New Zealand. Or maybe I’d head back to Toronto for a while and create a new base there. Or maybe I’d just say screw it all and be nomadic again. All of these options sounded exciting and adventurous, but none of them felt right. None of them made me fell the way I felt about staying in London. London, with its cobblestoned streets and dark pubs, with its cathedrals and markets and city skyline. I remember – just as I was realising I might have to leave the UK – looking out the window of a double-decker bus one rainy morning. A businessman, looking harried, was just about to jump on board when a blind man asked him for directions to Old Street station. The businessman, without a moment’s hesitation, took the blind man’s arm in his and began to walk him toward the station. I cried. Yes, this city is crowded and expensive and rainy, but it is a good city, one filled with good people.

London 16

Closest stop: Covent Garden

And then – a glimmer of sunshine through the clouds. Through classmates I found out about another type of visa I wasn’t even aware of before: the Graduate Entrepreneur visa. This visa is given to graduates of UK university programs who show entrepreneurial potential. I started to research it more and more, and it turns out my university was one of those who does indeed sponsor graduate students. Over the summer, I began to develop my business plan, and, just recently, I presented my plan to my university. I don’t want to say too much about it here, but, in short… there is a very good chance I will be able to stay in the UK after all. This isn’t set in stone – there is still a lot of government paperwork to go through – but I feel very hopeful that all will go well and the paperwork will be accepted.

London 30

Closest stop: Pimlico

London 6

Closest stop: Vauxhall

So what does this mean? I don’t have to leave London, not yet. It has been an emotional rollercoaster, one filled with many sleepless nights, but for the past few days I have been overwhelmed with happiness again, full of love for this city in a renewed sense. Not only that, I am incredibly excited to start my new business venture. You will see some development on this blog in the upcoming months – don’t worry, the blog’s content is not changing, and I’m still not going to accept advertising – but I am finally ready to take this blog to the next step in terms of hopefully providing you with more. That means a lot more time dedicated to the blog, which I am thrilled about. I’m also pretty stoked to say that I am an entrepreneur – I never really thought of myself like that, but I suppose all bloggers are entrepreneurs in some way.

London 15

Closest stop: Waterloo

London 14

Closest stop: Notting Hill Gate

London 13

Closest stop: Shoreditch High Street

It has been over two years since I first officially moved to London. I remember those first few weeks well; I attended Notting Hill’s Carnival, I went to Greenwich on a sunny day, I visited the local market that would soon become a favourite. I had two years on my student visa – they felt endless and bountiful, as if they’d never run out. I could never have known how madly I’d fall for London, but, now that I have, I can’t imagine basing myself anywhere else.

London 1

Closest stop: St. Paul’s

Not yet, anyway. Because my feet are still itchy… and I have some very exciting travel plans coming up.

By the way, all of these photos were taken straight from my Instagram feed, where I post daily photos of London. Check it out if you’re so inclined!

London 4

Closest stop: St. Paul’s

Have you ever found a city or place you truly love living in? 

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61 comments

Katie September 24, 2015 - 4:22 pm

I felt like that about London too after two years and by switching from a two year working holiday visa to a student visa then a de facto visa through my South African boyfriends ancestry, I was able to stay another 4 years, by then I felt ready to leave. I do still miss it but after 6 years it was time for a change

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Brenna Holeman September 24, 2015 - 4:25 pm

That’s fair enough! Six years in one place is certainly enough time to see a lot of it. I wonder when I’ll feel ready to leave, if ever…

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Jessi (Two Feet, One World) September 24, 2015 - 4:39 pm

How exciting, Brenna! Bloggers as entrepreneurs… I like it 🙂

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Brenna Holeman September 24, 2015 - 4:40 pm

Thanks, Jessi! Yes, I think we all are… we’re managing businesses, after all! 🙂

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KMunoz September 24, 2015 - 4:56 pm

That’s so exciting! It’s rare to find a place that feels like home, no matter for how long. Congrats on (hopefully) getting the visa and the extra time to explore London. 🙂 Looking forward to the next adventures!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:31 am

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

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Clare September 24, 2015 - 5:26 pm

How wonderful that the signs are good for you to stay in London! It must be so difficult to fall for a place and want to make it a home when the future might force you elsewhere. It’s that aspect of feeling forced isn’t it? When what we wish for is the freedom to make the choice for ourselves. Looking forward to finding out you’ll be staying for sure!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:32 am

Thank you so much, Clare! Yes, you’re right… I would hate to feel forced to leave.

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Adina Marguerite September 24, 2015 - 5:54 pm

Good for you Brenna! I’m so glad you’ll have an option for staying somewhere you really love and that you have exciting new plans ahead! Can’t wait to see what they are!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:32 am

Thank you so much, Adina! 🙂

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Ashley September 24, 2015 - 7:23 pm

This is so exciting! Congrats on the Graduate Entrepreneur visa – it sounds perfect for you! I fell in love with Edinburgh, and I’m currently 5 months into a potentially two year stay with a work visa. On one hand, two years seems like such a long time, and yet, I can’t believe how quickly 5 months has flown by! I don’t want to think about the day I’m forced to leave Edinburgh, so I can definitely empathize with the stress you’ve been feeling about leaving.

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:33 am

Thank you so much, Ashley! It really does fly by… I can’t believe I’ve already been in London for two years! Enjoy Edinburgh. 🙂

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Amie September 24, 2015 - 8:03 pm

I’m so excited for you! My husband and I lived in London for a year and fell fast and hard for it as well. We always regret not staying another year, but we made the choice to move back to Alberta so I could get my Ed degree (much easier to do than in London). We love where we are now, but our hearts will always be in London, specifically the docklands of Canada Water and Greenwich. We try to go back every other year or so. The first time we went back was really hard, it felt so different to be there as a tourist and I hated that feeling. But the more we go back the more it just feels like home again. We hope that one day we’ll be back long term and I’m happy that until then I can live vicariously through you! 😉

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:34 am

Aw, that’s awesome that you still come to visit a lot! I hope that you get to come back for a longer stay soon, too. Thank you so much for your comment and your support, Amie! 🙂

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Katie September 24, 2015 - 8:24 pm

Oh that is such awesome news…or, at least an awesome glimmer of hope! Fingers and toes crossed for you!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:31 am

Thank you so much, Katie!

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Julianne September 24, 2015 - 8:33 pm

Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for over a year, but this is my first comment. 🙂

I hope you get to stay in London. I was just there, and it truly is a beautiful city. I can’t wait to go back!
I’m excited to see these new blog updates. Good luck!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:34 am

Hi Julianne – thank you for the comment! 🙂 And thank you so much for your support, it really means a lot to me.

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Amanda | Chasing My Sunshine September 24, 2015 - 9:46 pm

My dream is to one day live in a city that I love as much as you clearly love London. I want those feelings you feel! Thanks so much for sharing. I am SO excited that you found this other Visa opportunity, and I am crossing every single appendage that I have for you.

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:35 am

Thank you so much, Amanda! It took me a long time to find a city I love so much. I really appreciate all of your support!!

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Lauren Bishop September 24, 2015 - 11:52 pm

Oh yay! I’m so happy for you. It’s amazing when you find a city that resonates with you and keeps you excited. Best of luck with the business plans and I can’t wait to read more about them.

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:34 am

Thank you so much, Lauren!!

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Gemma September 25, 2015 - 2:27 am

That’s great news, good luck with the applications, I hope you can stay!
My friend has recently found out she has to return to the UK (from New Zealand) as due to some complications with her working holiday visa she now can’t get a work visa, she’s definitely pretty down about it, (although she is the sort of person to try and see it in a positive light and put a good spin on it) She wasn’t sure what she wanted, but I think having the choice made for her has made it so much more stressful. I think applying for a visa you never knew about before though is good, there will be less people who know about it and who can apply, so you’re chances are good. (Not to mention being a successful writer and your awesome blog!)

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:36 am

Aw, that’s too bad to hear about your friend – it’s always really tough when you’re forced to do something or have no control over something like that. I’m glad she’s staying positive.

Thank you for the good vibes!!

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Tas September 25, 2015 - 3:28 am

Omg.. Am so happy Brenna , hopefully you’ll get to stay in the city of your dreams!! Not many people get what they hope for, but then not many people hope and wish so fervently for something! I love London too, and you are right no time is enough time to soak in the city…one can spend endless hours just taking in the sights and inhaling every little sight , every nook and corner of this place!! Waiting to visit London soon again!! All the best for your business project!!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:43 am

Thank you so much, Tas! I really appreciate all of your support. I agree – London is a city that needs a lot of time to explore!

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Jennifer September 25, 2015 - 7:04 am

This was so beautiful. A true love letter to the city, fraught with “what ifs” and “will it work” and I couldn’t get enough. You make London look so inviting and I am more determined than ever to get myself there!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:37 am

Thank you so much, Jennifer! I really appreciate it… hope you get to come here soon. 🙂

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Emily September 25, 2015 - 9:47 am

Congrats that’s amazing! While I’ve only been to London as a tourist so far, I too have that feeling of home and inspiration every time I visit. I would LOVE to stay here on a longer basis but, as you know, it’s SO difficult. I’ve seriously contemplated grad school but it’s so expensive (compared to Germany for instance but less than the US). I have a few years before I consider grad school (not done traveling yet!) but I’m definitely considering London. Glad to know there’s hope for us bloggers considering trying to make London home! Best of luck!! 🙂

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:39 am

Thank you smooch, Emily! It really is quite difficult to live in London, but I hope you get to come for longer very soon. 🙂

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Edna September 25, 2015 - 10:27 am

I just left London after living there for six weeks. Every time I stay there (five weeks my first trip, three weeks my second, and various weekends away from Paris in between) I’m reminded how much I love it and how much I would love to live there for more than a month at a time. But that pesky visa! For an American freelancer it’s nearly impossible. So congratulations to you on finding a way to stay and looking forward to hearing what’s next for you!!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:40 am

Thank you so much, Edna!! It really is quite difficult to live here… next time you’re in London let me know, let’s grab coffee!

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Emily-Ann (grownupgapyear) September 25, 2015 - 10:40 am

There’s nothing worse than having to leave a place before you feel ready. Fingers crossed this other visa works out for you, it sounds like it’s a great opportunity! Love your photos of London life 🙂

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:37 am

Totally agree! Thank you so much for your support, Emily-Ann.

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Katie @ Domestiphobia September 25, 2015 - 12:14 pm

Congratulations! That has got to feel like such a relief!!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:30 am

It does… thank you, Katie!

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Jess (JessOnThames) September 25, 2015 - 12:52 pm

This is such amazing news!!! I worry about that, as a fellow transplant Londoner whose sponsored visa is running up in a year… I hope they will agree to renew because I can’t bare the thought of leaving. How fantastic that your proposal for the entrepreneurship visa is looking positive – that is such a cool and creative way to be able to stay. Would love to hear about it sometime! xx

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:38 am

Thank you so much, Jess! I know – isn’t all this visa stuff so stressful?? Good luck with yours and yes – we should meet up for a coffee/photo walk one day!

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Mélissa September 25, 2015 - 1:16 pm

This is amazing ! I’m so glad that you have found a solution that makes you happy, and even more important, that makes you happy where you’ve chosen to be.

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:37 am

Thank you so much, Mélissa! I really appreciate all of your support. 🙂

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Rich Brownsdon September 25, 2015 - 2:21 pm

You’re not a businesswoman, you are a business, woman! :p

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:30 am

Ha ha, thanks Richard!

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Cara-Mia September 25, 2015 - 3:40 pm

Excited for what’s in store for you! I truly hope you get to stay in London.

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:31 am

Thank you so much, Cara-Mia! 🙂

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Christine September 25, 2015 - 4:19 pm

Sounds like you found your home. Congrats Brenna! Crossing my fingers for you!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:31 am

Thank you very much, Christine!

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Jacquie Reagh September 25, 2015 - 6:25 pm

So happy for you that you get to stay in London longer!! Hope everything goes well with the Visa 🙂

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 2:30 am

Aw, thank you so much!

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Vicky September 26, 2015 - 10:35 am

I was totally scanning that for you saying you were leaving! Yay that you’re not. Had to go go back through and read it properly. You entrepreneur you! X

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 3:38 pm

Ha ha – you can’t get rid of me that easily!!! So excited to be sticking around, hope we get to see more of each other soon x

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Paige September 26, 2015 - 5:14 pm

Best of luck in everything you do Brenna! And I’m very, very excited to hear about your new travel plans. So happy you get to stay in the city you love!

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Brenna Holeman September 26, 2015 - 5:47 pm

Thank you so much, Paige! I am very excited to share the upcoming plans with everyone… hopefully next week! 🙂

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John September 27, 2015 - 8:30 pm

Hi Brenna

It’s GREAT to hear that you may be able to stay in the UK on the basis of an entrepreneur visa: as a person of great talent and skill, independent of your Masters degree, as a Brit I think it’d be a tragedy if you were to be “forced” to leave.

For me, I came to London later in life, when I was 36, and didn’t expect to stay long. That was a few years ago. I spent so much time as a younger person deciding I *definitely* didn’t want to live and work in London. I was wrong. Waaaaaaaaaaay wrong.

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Amy October 4, 2015 - 11:36 pm

That story about the blind man is amazing, it sums up London so well to me; lots of people seem to think Londoners are rude and standoffish, but I don’t think that’s true. Amazing news about the visa, I hope it all goes through, it makes me feel lucky to have a British passport and the option of returning to London one day.

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Brenna Holeman October 5, 2015 - 3:32 pm

I agree – I think a lot of people have a negative image of London, but I see kindness every day here! And thank you for the well wishes 🙂

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Zalie October 6, 2015 - 6:25 am

All of your London dreams are coming true…and I am so very proud of you for making them happen! xo

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Brenna Holeman October 6, 2015 - 10:55 am

Thank you so much for all of your support, sister!! xo

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Keri October 13, 2015 - 4:46 pm

Congratulations Brenna, must have been horrid not knowing if you had to pull up roots & move on when you weren’t ready to! Also lovely to hear nice things said about London. Sure, it can be grey, cold, rainy and miserable but yup, Londoners can be ace and the city has so much to offer. Look forward to hearing more about your entrepreneurial plans!

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Brenna Holeman October 13, 2015 - 5:01 pm

Thank you so much, Keri! I really appreciate the words of support. 🙂

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